Support is a powerful thing: how to gather ‘your people’ even if you don’t have anyone around you.
[Image Description: A group of people sit on a deck in front of a lake around two large blue chairs, smiling at the camera.]
Support people are so important, especially when it comes to navigating the NDIS. They are an outlet to share your feelings about what you're going through, they help keep you accountable by encouraging you to keep working toward your goals every day and they can provide encouragement when things get tough or if there's something specific that needs to be done that day (like exercising).
More often than not, these support people are our direct family or friends, and sometimes the Carer load is quite high on one or two people. In many other cases, friends and family aren’t in the picture and so an individual is left navigating their own path without support, and this can be overwhelming and lonely.
Being self-reliant and independent can be great goals to strive for, in fact, they are a cornerstone of what the NDIS is trying to achieve for participants. However, when we’re all busy trying to be as self-reliant as we possibly can, leaning on others less and less, the feeling of being part of a community and the idea of ‘a village’ can also fade away. We’ve all heard the phrase; it takes a village to raise a child, but ask most parents today and their response would be ‘what village?’ And why doesn’t that village hang around once the child grows up?
The benefits of building your own village
If you’re not yet aware of the existence of Minecraft, I envy you - but the hallmark of why this computer game is so engrossing for kids and adults alike is that they have ownership over the construction of their own village (anyone remember Civilisation?).
They have a sense of belonging.
They feel less alone.
They feel secure, knowing that they have set the boundaries on what can and can’t happen within their village.
And if they’re feeling adventurous and step into ‘survival mode’ they know that even though the baddies can hurt them; they bounce right back and have a chance to make changes that see them through that difficult episode.
So how do we translate this concept into real life? Without the endermen and giant pixelated spiders!
Finding support when you don’t have people
If you don't have friends and family to support you, there are still other ways to find help, within and outside of the NDIS framework. Yes, it can be challenging, but it is possible. Even if family and friends make up a significant portion of your informal support network, it would be beneficial for you AND them, for you to reach out and continue building your own village. Carers need that village to lean on too, to make sure they can keep supporting their loved ones.
NDIS funded Support Worker/ Recovery Coach/ Counsellor/ Cleaner… the list goes on. Clearly, these sort of supports must be funded as part of your NDIS plan but having an idea of where your life could use a strong foundation is key to utilising your funding in a way that makes the most impact to you and your informal support network.
Online support groups or mentor programs. If you’re not already part of the safe and supportive community that is Kinora, we’re an online, fully anonymous platform set up to support people on their NDIS journey, as well as their informal support people like parents, other family and friends. There are also countless Facebook groups set up for people with specific conditions/disabilities/circumstances and their support people to share their stories, their challenges and their wins. The digital age has definitely redefined how we value communication and connection and while it’s extremely important to overall wellbeing, it doesn’t quite replace in person help.
Community and government-funded activities and events. Local and state governments fund a range of sporting, social, educational and cultural activities, classes and events. Check with your local government website/s and community groups in your area. If you’re NDIS funded, your LAC can connect you with the relevant information. There is so much value in joining a sporting club (so many are incorporating accessibility programs), book clubs, crafting circles, gaming groups, walking groups or generally any interest you have that can be shared by others. Check out meetup.com and even Class Bento to find a group activity.
Carers SA and nationally, Carer Gateway, provide a range of free supports for unpaid Carers. As the sole Carer Gateway provider in South Australia, Carers SA is able to offer services including counselling, coaching, peer support groups, tailored support packages and emergency respite. Carers SA also offer support through the Community Connections Program and Carer Breaks. Once connected with Carers SA, their friendly team work with the Carer to put a plan in place that best supports their needs. If you are a Carer, don’t wait until something urgent arises to reach out. Services are available no matter where you are on your caring journey.
Creating and maintaining expectations for supports
Once you've found people who want to be part of your team -and vice versa- it's important that everyone clearly define their roles within the group so everyone knows what they're supposed to do when called upon for assistance (or just moral support). For example: "I will check in with them once per week via text message" versus "I will provide encouragement when needed."
In order to get the most out of your support system, it's important to be open and honest with them. Let them know what you're hoping to accomplish and set realistic expectations for yourself. If you don't feel like you can trust someone in your life, then maybe they aren't the best person for this particular role.
It's also important that everyone involved understands that this is a team effort -no one person should be carrying all of the weight on their shoulders alone! Everyone involved needs to take feedback from each other in order to make progress towards (or achieve) goals, so make sure everyone knows how important their contributions are before getting started (and throughout).
It's important to understand the limitations of your support system. Not everyone will be able to provide the same level of support, or even agree with your goals. Some people may not be available when you need them, and some might not be able to offer as much help as others. You should also consider how much time and effort each person can devote to supporting you before asking them for anything more than moral support (and maybe some occasional advice).
You can’t build a village in a day
It takes time and effort to build a supportive network around you. It can be scary to put yourself out there and try new things, but with time and persistence, you can build a strong network of people who care about you and support you.
Login in to Kinora to start connecting with people who are on a similar journey to you, for advice, support or just to chat it through.
